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Snigglesnaffed

2/21/2021

by EMMIE CHRISTIE

Kittens in a box! by David Lifson | Flickr

Evelyn was on the way to her big meeting with the department heads, but the box of kittens on the side of the road read ‘take what you can’ and what was a middle-aged woman to do? Leave them?

Of course the freaking not.

She stopped her car and sighed. There were five: an all-black, one with a black sock, one with a white-tipped ear and one with a grey heart on its nose. The last had a bent tail, as if it had been caught in a door. They looked up at her and mewed, showing all their little pink throats, and Evelyn melted into hopeless snigglesnaffing. Snigglesnaffing is, of course, the technical term to describe when, within five feet of something adorable, an average human’s speech breaks into irrepressible endearments such as ‘miggle muffin’ and ‘snuffer puff.’

The Fingernail Fairy

2/13/2021

by JUSTIN DILL

Nom Nom Nom Fingers by Shea Huening | Flickr

I didn’t expect her to show up tonight. If I’m being completely honest, I didn’t expect her to show up at all. I mean, come on. It was only a creepypasta, and if you ask me, a little overcooked at that. Written by some nobody in exchange for internet points—value non-transferrable. Who in their right mind would have thought the Fingernail Fairy was real?

But I knew it was her, the second she flashed me that formidable grin, more keratin than calcium, if you catch my drift. That was when the general din of the pub, at least in my mind, fell away to allow for a moment of rapid-fire recollection.

What were the rules? There are always rules. Rules that you have to follow to a T, Baskerville Old Face, Twelve-Point Font. If you don’t, well, then you’re the protagonist. And that’s the last person you want to be in a creepypasta. You’re wondering about me? What’s my deal? Screw you, that’s my deal. I’m no protagonist. I don’t die at the end of this one.

Snigglesnaffed

The Fingernail Fairy

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