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Inheritance
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Let It Go by Ben Lelis | Flickr

​by Chrissie Rohrman  (331 Words)
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​​It looks roomy enough inside the freezer chest, but even after putting my weight against the lid, it still won’t close completely. I squint down through the vapor at my mother’s wrinkled face.

Even dead, she looks disappointed in me.

With a sigh, I haul her limp body back out of the freezer. For such a small woman, she was heavier than I expected. It seems poetic, considering the weight of disapproval I’ve felt my entire life.

“You’re out, James,” she’d sneered at me from across the polished marble countertop. “I’m seeing my lawyer tomorrow. The house, the cars and jewelry—it’s going to your brother. All of it.”

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Bald Beyond Suspicion
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Four scruffy men shuffled into the room behind the glass through which they could see neither me nor the police officer sitting next to moi.

​“Now, Mr. Dillinger,” the detective asked me. “What do you think?”

“Well, the tall one in the middle is kind of hot.”

The officer turned his face to the ceiling and rolled his eyes; I followed suit, but I couldn’t spot a spider or a fly up there—nothing.

“Good to know,” he said quietly, “but irrelevant.” (Stupid cop didn’t clue in that there is no middle man in a line of four.) “Do any of these men resemble the man whom you saw rob the bank?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t know.”

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​by John Blair  (356 Words)
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The Usual Suspects by ap. | Flickr


Snigglesnaffed
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Kittens in a box! by David Lifson | Flickr

 ​​by Emmie Christie ​  (948 Words)​

Evelyn was on the way to her big meeting with the department heads, but the box of kittens on the side of the road read ‘take what you can’ and what was a middle-aged woman to do? Leave them? 

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Of course the freaking not.

She stopped her car and sighed. There were five: an all-black, one with a black sock, one with a white-tipped ear and one with a grey heart on its nose. The last had a bent tail, as if it had been caught in a door. They looked up at her and mewed, showing all their little pink throats, and Evelyn melted into hopeless snigglesnaffing. Snigglesnaffing is, of course, the technical term to describe when, within five feet of something adorable, an average human’s speech breaks into irrepressible endearments such as ‘miggle muffin’ and ‘snuffer puff.’
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​Doggerel [ daw-ger-uhl ] adj. 1. (of verse) comic or burlesque, and usually loose or irregular in measure. 2. rude; crude; poor.
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​Recommended Reading 
My Yellow Cup with the Tiger On
​Scott McClelland /  Bartleby Snopes

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​From the Archives
Inertia

​Bob Shar / 7-26-19
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