by ADAM BROCKMAN
IXX_3976 by Leon Brocard | Flickr
The taste of the soap. Brendan waiting outside the bathroom thinking I was washing my hands. Spitting the soap out and rinsing my mouth. Listening to my name being called by the karaoke DJ (mispronounced – probably because I spelled it wrong on the sign-up sheet). Telling Brendan I’m fine and grabbing the mic and rapping the Kanye song. Grinding up against the brunette during the second chorus. Brendan laughing his ass off and giving me a thumbs up.
Reaching the end of the parking lot and puking in the bushes. Back inside the bar with another round. Brendan telling me to buy the brunette a drink. Debating the pros and cons for two hours. Brendan writing what’s the worst that could happen on a napkin.
Asking the bartender to put the brunette’s next drink on my tab. Closing my eyes when she finally approached the bar. The already godawful country song belted half a step flat by some drunken idiot.
Brendan telling me the bartender was saying something to her. Opening my eyes and turning around to see her on her phone without a drink.
Approaching the bar for another drink. The brunette’s examination of me. Her sympathetic smile. The glare of pity. Her saying aren’t you supposed to be buying me a drink. Then saying she couldn’t drink because she had work in the morning. Me giving her $5 so she could buy a drink next time. Us standing there silently listening to the rest of the country song until she left.
Brendan falling out of his seat laughing. Slapping myself in the face yelling I ruined it. I ruined it. People staring. Brendan not laughing anymore. Slapping myself harder, knowing mom and dad would make me write this stupid list in the morning, that they wouldn’t believe me that it was just an allergic reaction to 50 Cent’s $7-a-shot cucumber vodka.
Brendan laughing again. Smacking him over the head with a glass bottle. Visiting him in the hospital. Him asking me if I at least got her number. Calling me a pussy when I told him no. Smacking him over the head with a vase near his bed.
Other than that, not much.
Adam is an emerging writer with a few pieces published in literary and academic journals. He works as a communication instructor and an instructional designer at an insurance agency. In his spare time, he enjoys playing RPGs, watching football, and spending way too much money collecting guitars. You can follow him on Twitter at @adambrockman7.